Drunken Enterprise People Who Drink
by RachyDoodle
Summary: This is what happens when the crew of the Enterprise get drunk. Only hilarity can ensue! A collaboration with Freakk. Read and Review!


**Disclaimer: We do not own Star Trek. God damn it Jim!**

* * *

Having recently been posted on a mission in deep space, the crew of the Star Ship Enterprise left their ship to enjoy a well deserved break on Deep Space Station K-7. When they entered the space station, much to Bones' happiness, they noticed a bar. The crew filed in whilst Kirk and the rest of the Bridge took to a separate table.

Jim stood up suddenly, a cheeky grin on his lips and asked the table what they were drinking.

"Wodka please Keptin" said Chekov with a smile on his little face, cheering internally since he was now drinking with the big men.

"Shochu please Captain" replied Sulu, receiving a few confused glances as he spoke.

"Come again?" asked Kirk.

"Japanese vodka basically."

"Right" Jim replied slowly. "And you Mr Scott?"

"Scotch, thank you. That's a real mans drink."

"No Mr Scott, zhats Wodka" said Chekov, puffing his chest out a bit.

"I don't think so laddy" the Scotsman told the Russian.

"And you Bones?" Jim asked loudly, interrupting the argument.

"You know me Jim, a nice Bourbon or five" the doctor replied in his southern drawl.

"Of course!" Jim said as he turned to face Uhura. "And for the lovely lady?"

Uhura just glared at him before giving her order. "Wine…white."

"Spock?" he asked the final person on the table.

"Drinking is an illogical past time."

"Ah come on Spock" pleaded Kirk giving the Vulcan puppy dog eyes, a pout upon his face.

"Yeah, come on ya hobgoblin, scared?" Bones interrupted.

After much thinking, Spock decided to give into theirs pleas and just agreed to have a beer along with the Captain.

Kirk went to the bar and came back with a tray full of drinks and set them on the table before each person took their orders.

Chekov took his glass into his hands and lifted it up to his lips, ready to take a sip, but upon reaching his lips, he caught the scent of the Russian drink. He inhaled and his face turned a deep shade of red as he started to giggle. Sulu turned and looked at the young ensign, an imaginary question mark floating above his head.

"You ok Chekov?" Sulu asked, a little concerned.

"Yes, I'm ok" he replied through giggles before taking another whiff.

"I think Vodka is the drink of a real man" Scotty said with a laugh, noticing how only the fumes were getting Chekov drunk.

"How old are you kid?" Bones asked as he drank his Bourbon in one gulp.

"Sewenteen sir" Chekov said through another fit of giggles.

"Oh great, he's seventeen and what do you buy him Jim? Vodka!" Bones was not impressed. But Kirk could not stop laughing at Chekov.

"Anyway, I'm off to get another one" Bones said, getting up from his seat.

"May I also have another Doctor McCoy?" Spock asked out of no where. All eyes on the table turned to Spock…apart from Chekov who was giggling his little Russian head off.

"I thought you said it was illogical to drink Mr Spock" Kirk said to his first officer.

"It is Captain, but as the rest of the Bridge is drinking it is only right that I conform."

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Bones said moodily, heading back to the bar for his second drink.

---------------------------------------------------------

Half an hour later, soon after Scotty had burst into song about the Scottish highlands, Chekov finally took a sip of his Vodka and passed out on the table.

Bones turned his head at the noise of the Ensign's head hitting the table and stared at him for a moment before speaking loudly to interrupt the noise.

"I think he's dead Jim!"

"Nah, he's just drunk. Take him back to the Enterprise for me will you Bones?" Kirk replied.

"Damn it Jim! I'm a doctor, not a babysitter!" Bones exclaimed. At this they just left Chekov to sleep off his drunkenness. Kirk turned to Spock.

"How many have you had Mr Spock?"

"Ten, I believe Captain" Spock said, finishing off his tenth beer.

"TEN! Already?" Kirk asked surprised.

"Yes Captain. I do not quite understand what Mr Chekov's problem is."

"He's drunk!" Sulu said matter-of-factly.

"I do not believe I have ever felt like that."

"Seriously?" Kirk exclaimed. "I've had four and I can feel myself going!"

"Don't you feel dizzy?" Bones asked.

"Not at all Doctor. Should I be?"

"After ten beers, I should say so!"

Spock stared the doctor but remained still as McCoy left to go get his drink. He returned to the table, bourbon in hand and another beer for Spock. The Vulcan immediately drained his glass and placed it back on the table, ready for another.

---------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and many drinks later, Bones was getting dizzy whilst Kirk was leering at the many girls, causing the good doctor to huff and puff at his friend.

"Ooo, I like that one" Kirk began drunkenly looking at the green lady in the corner. "But I like that one. Oh, she's nice."

"First a green blooded hob-goblin and now a leprechaun" Bones muttered under his breath and rolled his eyes. He was surprised it had taken Jim this long to look at the ladies.

"Leering after women is illogical Captain. Its-" Spock started, finishing his 14th drink of the night.

"Aren't you drunk yet Spock cause I'm pissed!" Kirk interrupted with a large drunken grin, lifting his glass in the air and shouting for another.

Chekov suddenly woke up and eyed the vodka. He took another sip before giggling and falling back asleep again. Uhura suddenly stood up and walked over to Chekov.

"I'm going back to the Enterprise and I'm taking the kid with me." She made her way over to the Russian and helped him up. She kissed Spock goodbye on the cheek before she and Chekov made their way out of the bar, Chekov giggling all the way.

"Dude!" Kirk said aloud, looking at Bones and pointing a finger at Chekov. "He is sooooo wasted." He then burst into laughter.

Bones then picked up the glass of vodka. "Jim, he's had two sips and he's drunk." This caused Kirk to laugh even more. He then turned his attention back to Spock. "You didn't answer my question." He pointed an accusing finger at Spock.

"I did feel a slight tingle in my fingertips."

"Well he's getting there!" Kirk said.

"So your not drunk in anyway?" Sulu asked.

"Not at all lieutenant" said Spock.

"Shame, because I am!" And with that he lay back in his chair and went to sleep.

"Me too!" Kirk said falling off his chair and onto the floor, laughing all the way.

Spock watched his friends, a serious look on his face and turned to look at Scotty.

"I am soooo BORED."

* * *

**A/N: HI! Just imagine Stewie Griffin saying the last line lol. **

**Well this is a random one shot I and Freakk wrote because we had this really weird idea of what the crew would act like in a bar and this is what kind of what we came up with.**

**The next one, they are all driving in the F1!! Lol**

**Read and Review! **


End file.
